Aquarionics Wiki

weird recruiter email

Hi Nicholas,

It was a cold day, Gustav arrived for his first day at work clutching his laptop and some books on the Zend framework. His past nights had been disturbed by the ‘Tetris effect’, lines of pure code produced by his unconscious mind in his sleep, dropping down, one atop the other, leaving him in somewhat of a half awake, half asleep state throughout the nights. His world view was formed through code, indeed giving him great insight, yet leaving him somewhat distant from those around him.

He was starting to question his sanity. A formidable PHP Zend coder, instead of taking rest in its conventional sense, his mind would be occupied with thoughts on RESTful services, instead of using soap in the bath, he would be comparing SOAP with RESTful services. He took a single bite on a pear, the only food he had eaten in two weeks, and instantly started thinkng of PEAR and PECL extensions. Instead of eating, he would usually be coding, his natural hunger instinct shut off from the deep levels of focus that he sustained during coding sessions. Am I human? he asked himself one day, clearly feeling that his very existence had merged with the technology with which he was engaged on a day to day basis.

His family life remained intact, a bright wife who understood his predicament serving as a buffer between his internal world and the world around him. Even when talking with her, his mind would drift onto coding, sometimes so much so, that he lost awareness of her very presence.

As he calmly, as if programmed, walked through the porte-cochère leading to the entrance of the office, he felt totally in control, as if on a mission to take charge of his young colleagues and guide them in the right direction on the greenfield LAMP platform-build that he was to be in charge of. He knew that this would be no easy feat, but felt reassured that he would be able to get on with producing a large amount of the purest code himself, whilst overseeing the 4 strong team of fastidious developers that already worked at the company, rather than being a mere hands off development manager.

As he arrived at his desk, he was astounded by the office environment, a wondrous place, void of unnecessary ornementation, fine desks sculpted from burr walnut. A minimalistic, clutter free environment seemed exactly what young Gustav needed to allow his coding to flourish. The air was as clean, a distant memory pervaded his mind, reminding him of the clean childhod air of the Matterhorn foothills in which he was raised. He mused on the brilliance of the architecture holding him, ‘a hybrid blend of Le Corbusier and Ahrends Burton Koralek’ he decided….. indeed he had many other interests in addition to his coding…….

I am looking for candidates like young Gustav, to fill a technical lead role in a London based agency. I would really like to speak with you about the opportunity as it is a good one. They really want fastidious PHP Zend coders, who have experience in RESTful services, to work on their new platform, and migration to the LAMP stack.